David Rotenberg died recently in Toronto. He was a legendary acting teacher with a lot of big name students that came through his doors over the years. I lasted three classes with him before he emailed me and told me not to come back. I was missing the very basics of acting he said and there was nothing he could do for me. He didn’t offer me a refund.
When I was a kid my mum left for a month to hike in the Himalayas. She did this from time to time. A Mrs. McKay came to help around the house. One day I couldn’t get a jar open. She took it from me and said “It’s all in the way you hold your tongue.” Now I understand that to be metaphor for concentration. Focus on the jar and your hands. Or maybe perspective. It’s just a jar. You can do this. Relativism? Compared to kids in Beirut you got it easy.
In the 80s it was always Beirut.
The angry people that feel threatened by diversity is a crowded field. In 2020 I certainly fell into that category. I have lost a lot of work to the push for inclusion in commercials. But I also lost work because of the pandemic, because I work in an agist industry and because I priced myself out of the competition.
Anger is an emotion I am all to familiar with. It has hurt me (loss of a marriage, loss of friends, alienation of family members) more than it has helped.
My students here in Toronto include a visually impaired social worker, a stand-up comedian in a wheelchair, a retired consultant, a truck driver a BIPOC project manager that is also a model, a BIPOC salon owner. My online students are virtually all performers with a disability. I’ve come to them through a talent agency out of Edmonton called Kello Inclusive.
My singing teacher Elizabeth Davidson suggested I teach. And she said I should go after students with day jobs. Because there are much more of them, because they have money to pay for classes. She doesn’t aim to teach the professional singers so much as those that have an interest or a passion for it.
Exposure to groups you wouldn’t otherwise have experienced does two things: it reinforces stereotypes or it breaks them apart. It’s all in the way you hold your tongue.
Why Is Change So Hard?
Change comes inevitably and endlessly. So why are we so bad at it? One of my students had vision four years ago. Now he’s legally blind. He still gets on a GO train for an 1.5 hrs to come to my class. He’s managed change. Was it hard for him? Does the level of difficulty or ease matter? What else are you going to do?
Change on a microlevel can be mitigated. We get into routines and when we have to change them we find it difficult. We insulate ourselves in the West from macro change by avoidance, acceptance, our busy schedules, the insularity of the nuclear family. If your dance card is full you’re not going to be marching in the streets. As long as I have a good excuse I’ll let someone else do that.
“Yes it’s not fair. And don’t be late.”
We think we can predict the future but we can’t. We think patterns will go on forever. That’s just the way my people do it, we say. We ask questions without question marks. The human need to be right and to be agreed with is strong.
This past weekend I talked to a Meisner teacher of mine, Shaun Benson. He said a lot of good stuff. You can hear the whole conversation at the Bold Acting Podcast. He’s a proponent of not knowing how things will end. The actor looks at a script and knows the words but what you don’t want to know is the behaviour. When you’re performing you don’t want to know how it go. I don’t want to map my life, I want to live it.
The very basics of acting I was missing was presence I discovered. I kept starring off into space. I was in my head and out of my body most of the time. A teacher of mine in Vancouver Ben Immanuel told me to read a book by Patsy Rodenburg (no relation) called The Second Circle. That and going to my first Meisner class with Shaun and I was present again. And I’ve never not been. It was so simple. Not nearly a firing offence.
To be included means a person keeps learning, keeps working, keeps engaging with their community, keeps hope alive, keeps leaving the house. To be included — to just be given the same chance as others — can make an immeasurable difference.
Lessons come from many places. When I got that email from David Rotenberg my feelings were hurt. Now I am thankful someone saw something in me and gave me feedback that I was eventually able to respond positively to.
The gap between anger and perspective is narrowing albeit incrementally. Who knows how it’ll end. Not me.
What I do know is there is so much to learn. Consider the tongue.
Life is short. Make your move.
To get in touch email me at: jasonbryden@gmail.com
Or on Instagram @jasonbrydenofcanada
The song used in this podcast is called Sure and it was made by Braak which is electronic and cinematic music made by Øyvind Strand Endal from Norway.
Music from Uppbeat (free for Creators!):
https://uppbeat.io/t/braak/sure
License code: AVTXANAUYZXHSHB0
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