Audition Your Life

The Bold Acting Newsletter for July 2nd, 2023

Actors hate auditioning. It’s a lot of work for nothing. 99% of the time nothing comes of it. Auditioning is a lottery ticket, with commensurate odds, that you pay for with your time and energy.

The only way around them is to become a star so that they just give you parts. Or you can go do something else altogether … like plumbing. Plumbers make nearly as much as your family doctor.

Or you can make the audition not for casting but for yourself. Without expectation. If you don’t care about the result then you’ll quickly forget the audition you just had and you’ll be free to make the audition you want. Forgetting is important because it’s out of your hands. Focussing on the things that are beyond your control is a recipe for disappointment.

You can’t fail when you’re making art. You just can’t. You try different things. No big deal. You find out what works. You do it in a way that won’t destroy you or your family or your partners. You don’t bet the farm when dealing with humans. That would be foolhardy. You keep at least one pig back just pour rires.

You try, try, try and then you die. That’s your whole life. You just try stuff and you don’t worry about things. And when you don’t get it quite right you beat yourself up about it for a while and then you give yourself a break. And then you try something else. But it has to be something else. Every time you try something it has to be different than the last.

Trying is auditioning. You audition different paths, techniques, people. Rather than making big plans, make little bold moves every day. Practice this. For example, in your next self-tape try and get the casting associate’s attention within the first 30 seconds. Remember, the thing that made you a weird kid is the thing that everyone is looking for now. That which got you bullied in school is most likely — in its adult version — a strength that people will celebrate you for.

How you make an audition will sustain you. You can’t do it for them. First of all, you don’t know who them is. So you don’t know what they really want. So you can stop trying to please them. You’ll invariably miss the mark. Secondly, they don’t know what they’re looking for either. They just want someone to be the answer. They want someone to take care of everything for them. You can’t be that person every time. So you do the most selfish thing you can: you make art. You make your audition a masterpiece. You don’t do this because they deserve it, you do it because that’s what you are. You are an artist. And this is the kind of art you make. And it’s in the making, every day, every day that we find fulfillment.

We didn’t become an actor so we could book two days on Hallmark’s latest flaming bag of Christmas dog shit.

We didn’t get into this so we could subjugate our creative spirit to an agent or a producer or a casting director.

We aren’t compelled to perform for fame or fortune. If we wanted those things we would have become a serial killer or a CEO in Silicon Valley.

Audition your life. Audition everything especially the things that you aren’t interested in. Those are the things that yield surprises. You can’t get it wrong. We’ve fetishized failure. It’s now something many of us aim for: fail forward, fail up, fail fast. I think we should reframe it as trying. You can’t blow an audition if you’re making art. You can’t fail if you’re sticking your neck out. For what else are we going to do? Sit at home and be afraid?

Auditioning for acting work is the hardest part of the job because we conflate it with a popularity contest. We want perfect strangers to like us. We give them all the power. Instead adopt a soupçon of contempt for the whole thing. People love a little detachment, a little mystery. It makes them want you to like them instead of the other way around.

Next time you’re self-taping make sure to make the thing your own. If you’re just going to memorize the lines and spit them out at your brother or your mom that you’ve roped into reading for you go back to bed. Be surprising, be the thing that only you can offer.

Make your self-tape a masterpiece. I learned this from a mentor of mine in Vancouver named Ben Immanuel. I add b-roll, sound effects, I tag a scene, I cut-off the reader at least once, I eat, I use a lot of props, I make mistakes and keep them in, I add music. I spend hours, sometimes days making a short film for them. Whoever them are. I might not get the part (for any number of reasons) but they are getting my art. Whether they like it or not. I will be seen and heard. They will not likely forget me.

If they’re not going to pay me for the audition then I’ll behave exactly as I please. Whether they know it or not, that’s exactly what they want.

For there will be more of ‘them’. A constant flow of decision makers, all just trying desperately to keep their jobs. They are none of your business. Yours is the art that God compelled you to make. So make it.