58. Metal Faced in a Liminal Space

How to be a Person -- The Newsletter for Monday July 14th, 2025

Gate 40. Pearson International. Porter flight 197 to Charlottetown.

They took my sunscreen at security. The bottle was 125 ml. And even though much of the contents had been used she still took it. When I protested she said that it was All good and then she said, Thank youuuuu, and I said Not welcooooome! as a walked away, impotent with frustration, looking for someone to blame. Maybe a tourist in zipper pants I could judge or a white guy with dreads. I settled on an $8 cortado that tasted like they had roasted the coffee beans inside an oven used to season cow shit on its way to becoming fertilizer. Put a mall cop at an airport and give them metal detector and they’re drunk with power.

One of my favourite rappers is MF Doom. The MF stands for metal face, because the man otherwise known as Dumile Daniel Thompson wore a silver mask after Marvel supervillain Dr. Doom.They say he wore the mask because of stage fright. His lyrics were of how he suffered from depression and how was overweight and how he smoked too much weed and what a bad father and partner he was.

MF Doom died by suicide in 2020.

Dr. Edith Eger (2017) writes about how we choose to respond to adversity. The holocaust survivor writes “Our painful experiences aren’t a liability—they’re a gift”. Rollo May, offered something similar: “Our destiny cannot be cancelled out . . . but we can choose… how we shall live out our talents” Is death the final gift? To be delivered from all the pain? Is it easier to die sooner because you’ve had less practice? Is it harder when you’ve done it for so long?

Emergency row 13, seat D. The couple sitting in front of me flirt, which is surprising because they’ve procreated. Adorable the way they put on a show for us. This is what you call toxic positivity, I think. The grandparents who are sitting in my row have it figured out, quietly reading their Clancy’s and their Bowen’s.

Tenets of Buddhism like “Death is certain. Time of death is uncertain,” and “Death is not a failure or punishment; it’s a natural part of existence,” and “Contemplation of death is the highest form of meditation” is supposed to encourage urgency and reduce attachments. Easier said than done. I wonder if a lifetime of death meditation would be enough? And is that a life well-lived?

Maybe this is their second marriage. Maybe the kid isn’t his. Has he inherited the two oldsters sitting behind him? Does he help out with the gutters in the fall?