49. Toleration

The How to be a Person Newsletter for Sunday, January 12 2024

The best way to boycott is to build your own.” — Chuck D.

Remember when we had to merely tolerate each other? Now, we are often asked to love, to celebrate and to include. This has made the Left feel everything from guilty to resentful and on the Right, people feel threatened and hateful.

Are we really so angry, so beset with turning back the hands of time to the bad ol’ days just because of sensitivity training? The zone previously populated by angry old men is a crowded field these days. And since when were they so marginalized by trans kids? This is just a case of change is hard, right?

What is undisputed is while the Left tries to out-left each other the Right is winning elections all over the place. Where do the artists fit in? The front lines, as always. Otherwise no one can see what they look like when they’re busy hating on their neighbours. A mirror won’t change a person’s political stripes one hundred percent of the time but you’ve got to do what you can. We have to try. And if you’re an artist and you can’t become an activist overnight then you’ve got to use the tools you’ve been given.

Look at this picture of me:

I don’t know why I was dressed as Richard Simmons but what I want you to see is the expression on my face. When my youngest was 6 he took this picture of me just as I was losing it because he had got hold of my phone and was messing around with it. There, in high resolution, are my true colours. And this one photo didn’t make me a better man or a more patient father but having looked at it and written about it I’ve given it a cursory study the results of which are the answer to the question: What do I look like when I’ve popped my top?

Am I ashamed?

Am I proud?

Am I justified?

Was it worth it?

I don’t look like the man I want to be. I look like an angry man of a certain age that hasn’t practiced patience nearly enough. How do we make that change? Well, people change all the time but one person rarely changes another person. If change comes from within it’s got way more sticking power. I think lasting, effectual change happens a lot like advertising happens. Repetition is the key. Remember when you first heard of Grammarly? And before that it was Casper mattresses. And before that it was — I can’t remember. Now there is nothing but Grammarly ads on YouTube. But I never see a Casper ad. That’s how change happens. Repetition until you embody it. Then you’ll forget and then you’ll have to relearn the lesson once more.

As always when I write you I really mean me. But we are living in the Age of Confession so I’m going to use the tools I’ve been given. In this case Substack.

I am naturally inclined towards quantity over quality and the internet agrees with me for the most part. Quantity has won the day. This is a good thing. It means we can do like Apple and ship art before it’s ready. Perhaps, by thinking out loud here I can come to a greater understanding of the situations I am in.

Angry or frustrated? Build your own. Chuck D. did it better than most. Did he change anyone’s mind? For sure.

Comedian Ron Funches changed my mind too.

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