24. Apples, Oranges and Branston Pickle

How to be a Person -- the Newsletter for Monday June 17th, 2024.

I got my British Library Reader’s Pass. Then I put my belongings in a locker, took my clear plastic bag containing my anti-choking prophylactic (a bottle of water), my two pencils bought in the gift shop (50p each) and my Chill Pill notebook ($4, Dollarama) and went up to the General History Reading Room. Inside I proudly showed the security guard my newly minted card. He didn’t share my enthusiasm.

I went over to the desk and filled out a requisition form for “Keith Kavanagh” by E.B. Hodge (1897). I read it in an hour. It was terrible. I didn’t need to travel thousands of kilometres to read the original but it was still fun. And unlike my home library (shout-out to Annette Branch) this library was not only quiet but solemn. Sure there were teens eating and on their phones but not inside the reading rooms.

Can you imagine growing up in a city so grand you study at the British Library? Field trips to the National Portrait Gallery or a matinee performance at the National theatre followed by a snog in Hyde Park or Regent’s Park or St. James’s Park. What a place to be a kid. I feel like one every time I go there. Or maybe it’s the sandwiches.

England does sandwiches like America does bullets. They’re lying around everywhere. The cheese and onion from Marks and Sparks. The cheese and pickle too. I used to love Prêt but they no longer do the all-day breakfast nor do they do anything with Branston pickle so they’re dead to me.